What's In a Name?

John Ashley

It's not the name that I always imagined for my son {ask anyone who knew me in late elementary, middle, and/or high school ... yep, I've had his name picked out for that long. I'm a dork, I know.}

Benjamin Joseph

His name is Ben/Benji/Benny Joe/& the recently discovered Benja Ninja. He is my second-born son, yet to be conceived/born/maybe not coming (only God knows).

The naming of my firstborn son was one of my first acts of submission to my husband boyfriend. Okay, now y'all are gonna really think me crazy. I have two baby dolls. One girl (Sarah). One boy (used to belong to Calley, but I stole him. [She wasn't really that into baby dolls + this doll is kinda stinky {he's a boy} = I wonder what Calley did with him. Oh well. I loved him. And I named him Ben, of course.]

When I moved into the Girls House (Chick Zone/Princess Zone) in January 2008, my baby dolls came with me. :) At the time, Josh and I had been dating for two+ years. We knew that we wanted to be married, but we were in the waiting cycle (that would last until September 12, 2009). I knew that John & Elizabeth were Josh's most favorite names that he would choose for his future children. Elizabeth made me super excited ... LOVE the name. John, not so much. I thought it was boring, too common, and, most importantly, it wasn't Benjamin.

Over the summer of 2008, Josh and I (with a team) lived at Ft. Benning for spiritual training. A group of close friends (that would become three married couples) sat around the dinner table one night "calling" baby names. (Ya know, reserving them for future use.) Josh called John. I was horrified.

But, it was that night that I realized just how much he loved the name John. I decided to rename my baby doll (insert submission here ... and try not to laugh. IT. WAS. HARD.) Then I started doodling John on the margins of my class notes. It was a process for me.

When Josh and I got married, we knew that we wanted to start having kids pretty soon thereafter. Naming our son (because the daughter's name was set ... come on, sister Sarah) became a huge priority for me. I knew that his first name would be John, but his middle name? Benjamin Joseph just flowed so perfectly to me. What flowed perfectly with John? The answer had been staring us in the face.

Before we decided on Ashley, I toyed with naming him John Israel. I LOVE, love, LOVE Jacob in the Scriptures. (Josh LOVES, loves, LOVES John the Beloved in the Scriptures.) I actually really like the name Jacob too, but we couldn't see naming a boy John Jacob (go ahead, start singing). God changed Jacob's name to Israel in the Scriptures, and I loved the meaning behind that, but I was never quite settled on it.

One day I stopped and asked myself, "Why am I naming my son John?" Answer: Because Josh loves the name. Me: "But why am I going with it? Normally I have such strong opinions about names." Answer: Because I ADMIRE someone named John.

That someone named John is named John Ashley, in fact. (And you thought my kid was named after me.)

So, Josh has this friend named John Ashley. This friend is more than a friend, though. He has been Josh's spiritual mentor over the last five years. He is one of the only friends in the world who (in Josh's words) "would do anything for me." He is also one of my favorite people to pick on/pester/joke with/spend time with, etc. I have so much respect for him. He is one of the only men in the world about whom I WILL say to my son, "Imitate John Ashley as he imitates Christ." Seriously, we love this man. It was in early 2010 that we decided that our son's name HAD to be John Ashley. Now we had the task of convincing an extremely humble person to allow us the honor of naming our son after him.

Convincing John Ashley Day came in early July 2010, a few days before he and I were both standing up beside Mr. & Mrs. Randall & Hannah Nowill on their wedding day. We were at Han's parents' house eating yummy deliciousness (being spoiled by them as usual). I remember that he didn't believe we wanted to name our son after him. He didn't believe it, but he didn't say no. Score!

Fast forward: Sept. 28, 2010: Josh and I found out we were expecting. Happy/scary day ... What had we gotten ourselves into??

Fast forward: November 2010: I announced to my all-girls small group at Bible study that I was pregnant. Did I mention that we attended the same Bible study as John Ashley? When the girls heard the name choices, many of them pledged their allegiance to Team Blue so that we could have another John Ashley. I'm telling y'all, he's an admired man.

Fast forward: January 19, 2011: We didn't find out the gender at our 20-week ultrasound. Muahahahaha! [Somehow, I intuitively knew that he was a boy.]

Fast forward: June 2, 2011: Josh announced to family and friends (who had been sitting in a waiting room for a mad long time) that John Ashley Beam was here. Celebration ensues. Where was Mama? In recovery. :( I hear it was quite the party, though. Our boy was here! John Ashley was here.

Photo Credit: Alex Mooney :)

So, what's in a name? Quite a lot. Quite a lot of planning, thought and prayer are behind John Ashley's name. But I am most excited about what is before John's name ... a whole thirty-something years of a life well-lived in submission and obedience to Jesus. I am so thankful for my friend, John Ashley. His life has meant so much to my own through the way that he's invested in my husband AND all the fun he's added to my days. :)
It is an honor to mother a child with the same name.

But there's more.

After June 2, 2011 (& 3rd & 4th) [you know when all the celebrating died down], I embarked on the most difficult [and rewarding] journey of my life to date. I became John's Mama, and it was a rough transition. I experienced - like really tasted - the grace of God like never before. Oh, the sweetness of God's grace, which was there for me through the sleeplessness, through the feeding problems, through the recovery, through it all (it's still there, and I accept it like never before). God really showed me that His grace is sufficient. That my salvation, my right standing before Him has NOTHING (absolutely NOTHING) to do with my actions/how well I perform. Praise God that my salvation has EVERYTHING to do with Jesus, and the righteousness that He gives me.

I learned these lessons about the grace of God because of my John. What does John mean?

God is gracious.

I weep. God named my son. He knew the precise lesson that Mama would need to learn, and he gave that lesson to my son for a name. Every time I say my son's sweet name (which I love) (I say his name approx 895 times each day.), I am saying God is gracious. Yes and amen. God is gracious.

God is gracious.

God is gracious.

John.

John.

John.