The first thing that I'd like to say about throwing a funeral together with my family is that we did it together. I am proud to say that together is the way in which my family works. Everyone's opinion matters. Everyone chips in. Everyone overlooks offenses when emotions are running high. Only the Cannady grand-girls (love you, Cal, Chris & Mink) could have such a wonderful time together running through town, sifting through thousands of pictures, and putting together the video tribute I'd always dreamed of for my Pa (which is included for your viewing pleasure at the end of this blog). [I also want to say another HUGE thank you to Christen for all of the time that she put into making our picture projects a success. I love you, Chris, and I know that you sacrificed dearly needed sleep because of said projects. You rock!]
I always knew that I wanted to speak at my Pa's funeral. It was decided very soon after my arrival at Ma's house that it would be so. I am a weirdo. I love public speaking. I also enjoy testifying about the Lord, Christ. I never really worried about not getting through what I had to say. I never worried that I would cry and be too upset. I never worried ... until everybody and their brother, mama, and sister's uncle started saying to me: "I just couldn't do it." I decided in my heart that I could because I would trust God.
Trust Him I did. I have never felt more honored than sitting on the platform of my church at Pa's funeral. A man who was a hero in the eyes of many. And I was on the platform. But the reason that I felt so honored is because I know that my Pa would have wanted me there. I know that my Pa adored me. I know that he was so proud of me. I know that he loved spending time with me (putting Cal's pack-n-play together Christmas of '08 [precious memory], riding in his truck listening to bluegrass and the like, eating boiled peanuts and talking about anything at the river, sitting at countless softball games, the list goes on and on). I know that he was proud of me that day too. Because God got me through.
I spoke about Jesus. And how Jesus is the Source. He is the Creator. My Pa ... just a man ... made marvelously in His image. Any good that you saw in him, a dim reflection of the One who made him.
I spoke about my family. How thankful we all were and continue to be for the food, cards, flowers, phone calls, hugs, tears you cried with us/for us, and the love that you shared. Thank you again from Sweetie (Viv), the original Shaggy Head (Stevie), Ms. Shar-ON (Sharon), Chrissy-Lou (Christen), Toot (Minkey/Taylor), Pud-Head (Sherry), Flossie Jo-Belle (that would be me), Josh-dee-way (Josh), Monkey John (John Ashley), Er-tail (Calley), Ricky (as himself), Jeremiah Johnson (Mason), Charc (Lisa), Shag (Dannie), and Bosephus (Joseph). Did I mention that Pa had a nickname for almost everyone he knew? :)
I talked about how Jesus invites mere men to walk on water (building off of our song selection in our video tribute). You can read more about how Peter literally walked on water through faith in Christ in Matthew chapter 14.
But mostly I just read. I read this poem that I wrote because I knew that talking all day about how great of a Pa I was blessed with was not an option. I call it Crazy Delmo poem. May y'all can help me think of a better title?
My Pa was born in '33
on a blessed Christmas Eve
named for a popular country group
Cleaon Delmo Cannady
He was the baby of his bunch
beloved from day one
I heard that he skipped most of first grade
because his sister was such fun
I also heard he loved basketball,
a champion through and through,
and that he was named most handsome
at Oak Park High School
Then he married my Gram,
his partner in this life
I wonder if he knew back then
how blessed he was to have such a wife
Connie Gail was born really soon
and taken much too young
Thank God for Ronald Stevie,
his one and only son
God also gave him daughters,
Sherry Ann and Lisa Beth
They knew even as he was raising them
he was a cut above the rest
I know that he'll be remembered
as one of the greatest dads,
but his influence stretched much further
That's why today so many are sad
You see, in February of 1986,
my Pa welcomed a baby girl
A granddaughter was
added to the mix
That granddaughter was me,
a new heart to treasure and love,
but who would've dreamed the bond that would form
only God above
My Pa was my hero
from the moment that we met,
and the many moments after
much time did he invest
He taught me how to plant watermelon,
he taught me to be fair,
he taught me to be courageous,
my God-given gifts to share
But mostly what he taught me
as I look back on his life
He showed me what a man should be,
what true masculinity looks like
In the jaded world,
people think that men are dogs
that they never keep their word,
and only marry to be the boss
but my Pa showed me another way,
a higher, unselfish love
he pointed me to Jesus
as he sacrificed for his own
Because, you see, I've never doubted
that God would take care of me
I believe that lack of doubt stems from
the way Pa loved his family
But the 1986 baby,
she wasn't the only one
In 1987,
he welcomed his only grandson
And I shouldn't speak for Joseph,
but I will anyway
His Pa has been his example,
footsteps to follow day by day
Then Christen, Cal & Mink completed our POF
Party of Five for those who missed out
Oh, the memories!
The Cannady grandkids are the best
Pa was a great sport
playing along through our madness
From his tin foil grill to ice cream overkill
now all we feel is sadness
But I guess we are the lucky ones
to feel such a void
So many lose grandparents
who have never brought them joy
Our Pa gave us so much,
and he invested in our friends
Always smiling, picking, and welcoming
saying, "Y'all, come on in!"
Then when Jeremiah Johnson
and Monkey John came along,
my Pa was their favorite,
and they his Last Song
I miss you, Pa, so desperately,
and it's only been a day
I so long to see you a-swinging
as I pull into your driveway
You may have never known
how much you meant to me
How if it weren't for you
how lost that I would be
You were the man in my life
for oh so many years
You gave me hope for one day
and eased away my fears
And now I'm married to someone
who reminds me so much of you
I have high hopes for our future,
that one day we too
can look back on our lives together,
and know that we were true
true to each other, true to our children,
true to those God gives us too
So, my dear Pa, know this,
you are daily, crazy missed
We love you, we love you, we love you,
no one loves you more than this
than this little, insignificant granddaughter
whose life has been so blessed
Blessed to know you, blessed to lose you,
Praise Jesus, Pa, enter into your rest
If you have stuck with me until this point, you are a trooper! Thanks for taking the time to read all of this. I have a few random thoughts about his funeral that I want to record before I close. 1. I think that he is the most handsome dead man I've ever seen. Seriously, if you saw him, did he look good or what?? 2. I kissed him and touched him and cherished every minute that I spent with his shell of a body. Is that weird? Maybe. But I knew we'd be putting him in the ground on July 3, and that I'd never see him again in that body. I wanted to get all of the affection out that I could. [Miss you, Pa.] 3. I actually really enjoyed visitation. Thanks to everyone who came to encourage and support my family. It was a lot of fun to see you all. 4. I started crying at "I miss you, Pa, so desperately" in the poem. I couldn't see the paper well for the remainder of the poem. [I just might want to remember this tidbit in twenty years.] 5. I also learned not to judge anyone for how they grieve. My personality preference in ENFP. Without getting into too much detail, I feel internally, which means that I may not have crying fits with/in front of others. I internalize my emotions, and I tend to get them out only when extremely necessary. I found myself feeling guilty about this at times. I thought, "I should be crying more. I should lose it right now. This was my Pa. Why am I not more outwardly upset?" I also thought that other people would judge me for the way that I grieved/am grieving my Pa's death. I hope that we can all allow people the space and the freedom to do what they need to do when they lose a loved one.
So, you made it to the end. Good for you. I will reward you with a very special video.
Isiah 32:15-18 (promise that God gave me about Pa following his bone cancer diagnosis)
...till the Spirit is poured upon us from on high, and the desert becomes a fertile field, and the fertile field seems like a forest. Justice will dwell in the desert and righteousness live in the fertile field. The fruit of righteousness will be peace; the effect of righteousness will be quietness and confidence forever. My people will live in peaceful dwelling places, in secure homes, in undisturbed places of rest.
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