Life Without You

Dear Pa,

I know that you can't read this. Even so, I write to you. It is good for me to write.

Life really hasn't changed much since you've been gone.

I still live in Michigan. Everyone else still lives in Georgia.

You've missed me getting a job. That's been really fun. I would have probably asked you about your favorite fabrics if you were here. Mine are LE2 & LE8 & CH1 (today) if you were wondering.

I cut bags. I ship bags. I buy bags. {It's true.} A men's collection is gonna come out in the spring. If you were here, I'd buy one for you.

Hudson was born on September 5. Hudson, yeah, it's a last name.

It's a first name, too, of a famous Jesus-follower who I pray our Hudson will emulate.

I call him Hudson Bee or H-Bee {or Big Beefy - borrowed from my friend, Josh Brown's Hudson}. He is HUGE. He went for his four-month-check-up yesterday. 22 pounds. 7 ounces. 29 inches long. Ya know, average. For a one-year-old.

He looks like Mase. And if you tilt your head just the right way and close one eye, he looks a little like A. [Gram says he looks like Ricky.]

John is really, really smart.

He says his ABCs. He counts to ten three; he counts (by himself) to three.

I want to start planning his birthday party. I think that it'll either be Cars, Thomas, or Elmo.

I'm hoping for Cars.

It's been kind of cold here. You would be impressed that I know what below 0 feels like.

Not good. It feels not good.

Oh, and there's a big difference between 0 and 10 degrees. Who knew?!

I haven't been back to your grave. Sorry about that. I will go the next time I'm home (Lord willing). I will sit with you. I will cry my eyeballs out.

Mama is keeping your grave fixed up real nice. She's also taking really good care of Gram.

I am still breastfeeding John. People at the mall look at me like I'm crazy, and I look at them like I'm proud.

I know that you would be proud of me. You taught me to do what's best for mine. Thank you.

My, how I miss you! I cry big ol' gator tears. I scrunch my face up 'til it stings.

It's hard without you.

Well, these are the things I would have told you sitting in the swing or over the telephone.

Was it "Yeller" or "He-ller." How did you answer the phone?????????

I can almost hear it.

The Grandpa Series: Part One

The Grandpa Series: Part Two

The Grandpa Series: Part Three

The Grandpa Series: Part Four

The Grandpa Series: Part Five

It's been seven months.