Two Years Ago

Halloween is here! The Beams wish you a happy one!

This holiday has never been my favorite. [I used to really enjoy being with my Minkus on this day because she enjoyed it so much.] But I don't really like scary things, and I always feel a lot of pressure to find the PERFECT costume (so I typically end up not dressing up, as of late).

This holiday always makes me think of my family, though. I remember going to my Gram & Pa's house every year growing up for a special bucket of candy (that was probably my favorite part ... Sixlets, yessir.). I also really enjoyed my Mama & Aunt Lise coming to judge the Halloween costume competition at our festive yearly parties with my friends in recent years. My most precious Halloween memory, though, happened two years ago. I was eight weeks pregnant with a precious boy, and I got to break the news to some precious people.

My grandparents.

Love at first sight ... John Beam

Mama & I had been trick or treating with Calley & Mason in Liz's in-laws's neighborhood. It was crazy. I was riding in a trailer being pulled behind a four-wheeler worried that my newly acquired baby was going to come unattached from my insides. Momby and I decided to abandon the craziness for a little while, and in turn, we abandoned Calley & Lisa (for longer than a little while ... muahahahaha). We were both giddy to get to my grandparents' house and break the news.

We had just been to the doctor on the Friday before to see my Boo-bear for the first time. I got out the pictures that the ultrasound lady had taken for us and passed them over to my Gram for her to see and show my Pa. Then something unexpected happened. My grandpa broke down and started crying.

I had never seen him do anything like this before. And I didn't know what to do or say in that moment. He was crying because he was so afraid that he wouldn't get to meet my sweet John (or, at the time, possibly sweet Sarah). I remember feeling so loved and valued by him in that moment. It was so important to him that he got to meet John.

From the moment that he laid eyes on him (and his monkey toes), baby boy Beam was called "Monkey John." We both felt so loved by Pa in this moment.

And we miss Pa this very moment. John has a book of pictures of my family, and when he opens it, he says, "Pa."

Two years ago, I never dreamed what it would feel like to live on an earth without my Pa in it. Today? Halloween is just another holiday that is precious in my memory because of him.

Miss you, Pa. [Your Monkey John is truly a monkey. He started doing flips off of the couch today.]