Nursing John Past Two

I begin with the end.

My son, crazy, wakey ninny monster, John Ashley Beam, weaned from the ninny in early January 2014.

He was (is) 31 months old.

Friends, if ever you do something for 31 consecutive months of your life, it is worthy of a blog post (or two, or three).

I have done much better with the transition than anticipated; more on that later.
For starters, I want to honor the seven months of John's third year that I spent nourishing and comforting him on the ninny.

These past seven months have varied greatly.
Most everyone knows that #wakeyboo is a terrible napper. This really needs no explanation (terrible napper = John has always hated sleep during the day), however, I want to give one because I don't want people to mistake this statement about John as Mama speaking negatively about him. In fact, Mama is a terrible napper. When I am bone tired, I cannot. shut. my. eyes. You know, I might miss something aaannnndddd I need to soak up every moment of my day (even if all I'm doing is perusing Pinterest looking for ideas for my friend Emily to morph into Baby Beam's bedding). Sigh.

Ironically, the only place where I can be seen getting some shut eye while the sun is up is in my van. Funny, that's the same & only place my baby Boo does his day sleeping. I do not speak ill about my son by saying he is a terrible napper; I will not despise Baby Beam if he/she is a terrible napper. He (they) get it from his (their) mama.

I think everyone also knows my opinion about the seasons:
Summer > Winter.
There are so many reasons why this opinion is so.
One of the lesser is that JOHN TAKES NAPS DURING SUMMER.
From June until maybe early October I'd strap him in his carseat, take off down the Interstate, he'd crash and easily transfer from carseat to "stroll-poll" (stroller) and into coffee house/"boo-kah-tee" (bookstore)/eating establishment/mall/park we'd go. Summer was naptime heaven!

John napping after nursing to sleep at a local coffee shop.

An hour or so later (after Mama spent needed time with God), John would awake and instantly request ninny. These were some of the most treasured times between Mama and Boo. Sometimes he'd drift back in to and out of sleep, and I'd finally rouse him with the offer of a Starbucks chocolate chip cookie (yum). He was my precious summer nurser.

A word about nursing in public.
I do it.
It was obvious to me as soon as John was born that I would NOT be one of the women who retreats to the nursery at every hunger cry. For starters, we didn't have a nursery. Then there's the fact that John nursed every. single. hour. as a newborn. We were very near to family and lifelong friends his first two months, and we had multiple visitors (often male) every day. Lastly, I am a mega-extrovert = gotta be in on all the shenanigans.
I am also one of those quacky ladies who thinks it's important to the health and wellness of our society that we women proudly feed our young in public. (Note: if you formula feed, please feed your baby in public. They gotta eat! And I am the opposite of a homebody.) I got ALL KINDS OF weird looks feeding a two-year-old in Starbucks. They truly did not bother me. I only hope that young women watching me will also find the boldness to do the best by their own babes and feed them well for as long as both Mama and baby will. However, I do cover in public. Not because I think you have to. Unfortunately, breasts tend to only be seen as sexual objects in our country. I cover because while I believe that breastfeeding is the most meaningful and rewarding sacrifice I can make for my baby, I also believe in the import of protecting the eyes of the men I encounter in my day-to-day life. These are all my personal convictions which have Mr. Beam's stamp of approval. (That was a controversial and weird topic. Moving on.)
Just kidding. One more thing. My friend, Rebecca, ordered me a Covered Goods nursing cover over the summer. It is seriously the greatest nursing cover ever invented for extended breastfeeding (EBF). It is very lightweight and I LOVE that it covers your entire back. Talk about breastfeeding modestly! My friend, Rebecca, just gave birth to her third-born and reminded me that why the Covered Goods cover might not be my best bet when Baby Beam makes his/her appearance: It lacks the structured neckline that allows you to watch your baby as he/she is learning to latch. BUT for a wiggly two-year-old (and probably for a wiggly-any-age-feeder) it is the most perfect and comfortable nursing cover around!

Okay, really moving on.
As summer faded into fall winter, John stopped napping (unless I sat in the car with him). It became impossible for me to successfully transfer him from car to stroller. When the cold hit him, his eyes instantly shot open. Our outings no longer involved a gentle ninny wake-up call, rather they revolved around running the softplay, reading books together, and almost never asking for ninny.

John started "school" in September. Most weekday mornings, John and I hang out with a gaggle of kids from Yemen (and one other USA kid) while their mommies learn English. This added a bit of structure to John's day, which I'm sure impacted our nursing relationship. He moved from nursing all day every day to (always) once in the morning (upon coming to Mama's bed) and 2-3 times throughout the day (if and only if we stayed home).

At some point in late September, I got pregnant. I did not notice much fluctuation in my supply, but I honestly didn't notice much about my supply since John was nursing so infrequently. Milk was there when he wanted it and that was all we cared about! There was a lot of worry from friends and family about what I would do if John didn't wean before the baby came. I never worried about this at all. I sort of intuitively knew that he would wean before Baby, but I secretly hoped I'd be able to tandem nurse them (on my mommy bucket list; yes, I am crazy).

John and I traveled to Georgia for three weeks in December. By this time, he was nursing (consistently) only once a day: in the morning in his mama's bed. This continued to be his pattern until Daddy got to Georgia and the Christmas craziness began! He was so busy during the holidays (note: both mine and Josh's families are there) that he would often go days without nursing. I had times of mild pain during the days when John forgot the ninny and I was moderately full, but it was not unbearable. John got a goopy eye and a cold in mid-December and I tried to hand express some milk to put in his eye. Nothing came. This was the first sign that my supply was lower than normal.

It was very difficult for me to watch John wean in this manner because my dream had always been to allow him to self-wean. While he was technically weaning himself, I knew that if he was at home in his regular routine, he probably would have continued on a while longer. I also knew that he'd regret it once the milk was gone. While I was mentally prepared that he might wean during the busy-ness of our trip, I was in no way emotionally prepared.

John nursed a handful of times in early January and I cried in pain each time. The milk was just not there anymore. It was sad; we were finished.

I have allowed myself to cry a few times. John still asks for ninny every other day. I gently tell him no and divert his attention to something else. We are adjusting.

I take comfort in the fact that I am due in less than five months with (Lord willing) my second ninny baby. While there are so many things about the newborn phase that I do not enjoy, breastfeeding is not one of those things. It is the most challenging and precious facet of new life! While I miss my ninny boy, I am so looking forward to this new sweet ninny baby. Soon and very soon. I am blessed.