The Mission of Motherhood: My First Takeaway

I like to read.

I don't talk about it much in this space because, well, I don't normally have time. But I decided that in 2014 (the first half of 2014 - no promises after my Summer Solstice baby arrives), I am going to make the time to process what I'm reading and how it is changing my life. I am also going to share it with this blog (and all of you reading) because I'd love to encourage you toward some great books. And I'm always challenged to form my own convictions on the important matters of life when I see others doing the same.

So ... what do I like to read?

Well, I read a little devotional called Jesus Calling everyday.
It is my favorite series of devotions ever written. God sings over me through it!
Therein, author (and God-listener) Sarah Young, directs me to pertinent verses of Scripture.
Generally, this Word pierces my heart.
Some days this is all the Word (Bible) I get.

However, I enjoy reading my Bible daily.
I don't do it everyday (due to poor planning [always poor planning] and amateur parenting) but I do it frequently. {Just a note of honesty, I am having a very tough time getting into the Scriptures lately. Anyone else? I find everything is more difficult for me during winter + pregnancy. Mercy.} I want to write more on how and why I find it important to read the Bible (no substitute) soon. It is the only Book breathed with such power and authority from God. Hallelujah!

I supplement with strong, faith-based books. I firmly believe that the Scriptures are sufficient, but I love to read tales of faith & character & godly parenting; I learn so much through the faith-experiences of others. God uses these stories to spur me on toward love and good deeds.

My favorite supplemental reading topic is mothering, also my favorite calling in this life. God has given me the warrior heart of a mother. I didn't realize it until recently. With this child growing inside of me, I have found my voice. You know the one, the one that says (in your mind, of course), "H---, no. That is not how this thing is going down. My son will get my best. My son will be the center of my world. My son is the most important thing that's ever happened." And just like that, I am a force. (Okay, people, I'm not nasty or anything. I just know that God has entrusted these two to me. And me only. (Okay, Josh too, but I am their only Mama.) I take this very, very seriously. No one else prays for my kids like I do. No one else spends every waking, working hour with my kids like I do (yes, plural, one is on the inside sucking the life from me daily. precious parasite.) No one knows them like I do, no one influences them like I do, no one accepts full responsibility for them like I do (the good, bad, and ugly). I get a little consumed with passion over this role and responsibility. I read to sharpen myself (because this mothering is my most important role). I read to encourage myself in the desert.

I recently read a book called The Mission of Motherhood by Sally Clarkson.
I was inspired by another great book that I read last year called Desperate co-written by Mrs. Clarkson and a favorite blogger of mine, Sarah Mae. I knew when I read Desperate that I HAD to get my hands on more of Sally's work as I could tell that she was someone I desperately wanted to imitate as a mama (Hebrews 13:7). Let me say, if you are known as Mama, go buy this book. Whether your children are 5 months or 15, the principles therein AND the convictions of Mama Clarkson are life-altering. The Mission of Motherhood is sort of a general overview of mothering {with lots of depth and dimension}. It is very relatable, a great resource for any mom. 5/5 stars. I highly recommend this book!

But I also wanted to share some of my biggest takeaways from my own reading and study. (One great thing about this book is the Bible study questions that end every chapter. I have discovered my mothering manta {more on that later} through my study and I'm developing a list of motherhood memory verses through this book. #loveit) Takeaways are tidbits from this text that have re-shaped the way I live my life. Let's get to it.

Takeaway #1: I am a stay-at-home mama for the duration and a firm believer in spending quantity time.
I do not like controversial topics (and this is one). I will tread lightly and respectfully. (Know that I am very thankful for my job. I am also very thankful for the nurses, teachers, secretaries, writers, police officers, fashion designers, etc. who make my life easier.)
I am a stay-at-home mama. Full time. I am not (yet) a homemaker. I kinda suck at that role. (One day.) For now, I am John's Mama. All day. Every day. I spent a year working part-time for Better Life Bags (many of my responsibilities were completed with John in tow). It was a very necessary part-time employment for a season of my life, but I sensed God leading me - gently - to a wilder kind of living. The kind where my only schedule is my children, my only responsibility is my children. I am grateful.

Sally Clarkson is bold. When posed with this question, "'But surely you're not saying I should quit my job and just stay home with my children,'" Sally responds, "Well, in a way I am saying that - or at least I am saying that women should consider the possibility more seriously than many do."

Bold. Before I add my thoughts to hers, I want to continue that Mrs. Clarkson doesn't mean that it's best for all women to quit their jobs. For some women (like my own mom), it would be detrimental to their children if they up and quit their jobs. How would the children eat? She is saying that there are many women who miss out on the lives of their children based on the cultural assumptions that every household must have two incomes in order to measure up and that women find their true meaning and calling in work outside of the home. Whew.

Pictures I forget to Instagram.

Picture this: John and I sit in our pj's. It's 2 p.m. Another day of light snow during which these two Georgians are not taking to the streets. We're watching Despicable Me 2 (most likely) maybe for the third time today. Mama is exhausted. Probably smelly. I tried (and failed) to do my pregnancy workout DVD; I only got halfway through before John was on my back during the push-ups. Exhausted collapse. Movie time. I kiss his head repeatedly, then his cheek. We call them his cheeky-boos. He pulls my head toward his for another kiss. Marker stained hands from attempting the letter "Y" together. We are doing nothing special. Nothing but time. I ask John to let Mama up. He does. Reluctantly. I go to the sink and do 15 minutes worth of dishes (still no end in sight). My cue to return to John is either a.) the water grows cold or b.) John pulls me back from the sink by my pajama pants. I return to my chair. John on my lap. iPhone in hand checking the 'gram. Another day in the books.

This is one picture of what quantity time looks like for us. Yes, of course, I also believe in quality time, but I think that the quality generally comes as an accident (like you can't pay for or plan the quality times - unless - Disney World) so we have to be present with our kids a whole lot of hours in order to get the really good stuff in. Those hours (upon hours, upon hours) become who we are to them. Present. Mama. Faithful friend. Teacher of what matters. Key influencer. Stabilizer. Comforter. Defender. Boo-boo healer.

I love this quote from Mrs. Clarkson: "If the mother who gave her children life is not willing to do what it takes to provide security, love, protection, instruction, and stability for her own children, then who will be willing to do so?"

I will not run the risk of my children being pseudo-orphans. I will put in the hours. I will be Mama.


Up until reading this book, I also fully intended to go back to work when my youngest started school. Upon completing this book, not only do I have a yearning to homeschool (something I intend to wrestle with God over regarding each individual child) but I also do not have the desire to work until after my little ones leave my nest. {Note: I graduated from college one month before John was born so I have never been a classroom teacher. I intend to go "back" to teaching when I am very old (and very gray) so that no parent will ever question the qualifications of the first-year teacher. Ha!}
I realize that God could change my heart so I hold this plan with an open hand.

However, I find it essential for me to be at home the moment my teenage son walks in from school. My husband teaches high school, and I am only hours removed from one of my favorite scenes: a high school basketball game. I saw firsthand the pressures faced by a teenage boy. Pressure to perform on the court. Pressure to keep his grades up in the classroom. Pressure to look all together before teachers and just disheveled enough before those crazy chasing girls. (Note to John: No way, Jose.) I cannot fathom my son returning from this war zone to an empty house, free time, and all my groceries. NO. WAY. I plan to be mother and friend to John now; (and though it will look tremendously different), I plan to be mother and friend to John thirteen years from now.

Galatians 6:7, 9: Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows ... Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.

Finally, I want to say that I write this (and all mothering posts) from a place of divine desperation. I write with humility. Why? Well, because mothering has humiliated me like nothing ever before. Mothering drives me to God daily. I call out to Him in desperation. I apologize to my son for angry outbursts/crying attacks (especially while pregnant ... can I get an Amen?) almost daily. As a mom, I am a screw-up. Do not hear the tone of this post as judge-y AT ALL. I know that the question to stay at home or not is touchy. I don't want to assign mommy guilt to anyone. {I bet you're doing a great job!} I only want to keep a record of what God is teaching me during this season. It's important to me to write it all down. It's more important to me that YOU, Mama, feel blessed and encouraged by this blog.

I have much to say about this book. I will continue to write on all that God is teaching me through Mrs. Clarkson's influence in the days to come. Stay tuned.